March 2012
today is the first of the month. that means food stamps. that means steak sandwiches. i can finally record myself eating more steak sandwiches for that movie i’m working on, ‘eating steak sandwiches.’
a man is pissing right outside my window and the sound is comforting
namur liked your post: i just noticed that every single piece of…
i just got a nice record player from the trash today. i haven’t set it up with the speakers yet but it looks like it’s in good condition.
my father’s fruit of the loom underwear is folded neatly next to the toilet while a glob of his semen floats in the bowl. i bent down and shat on his semen because it is a funny thing to do. (real shit)
yaklt asked: so if you got your own place the first thing you would do is masturbate everywhere
Watchyaklt:
babysitting
kids are so awesome
2 tags
February 2012
0 posts
manwithpenis:
last night i cuddled with some girl and i havent showered in over a week.
i remember this
HEY GUYS CHECK OUT MY NEW EP REBLOG IF YOU LIKE... →
punkrockisdad:
Hey guys go download/listen/buy this because it’s by Adam and he’s also burgersalad and he contributes to this blog so you owe him one.
Oh also it’s really good.
Watch
burnwardhappyhour said: Find a bunch of empty bottles. Fill them up with water so that way when you tap them they make different sounds. Then go out in public and play a little song. Improvise. Then when people are watching, smash all the bottles and shout: ARAB SPRING AAAA
that is a good idea
watched ip man with my dad now he’s karate chopping the walls
wow, for the first time i was actually depressed inside my dream. all i did was lay down and be depressed until i woke up.
1 tag
tlc actually means toddlers, little people, and cakes.
Euthanasia Coaster: funpark-assisted suicide with... →
mikedurstewitzsodmg:
Pay someone to ask you questions in social situations that you can respond to with an answer that will make you seem interesting.
i had a sex dream last night, when she pulled my dick out she wanted to give me a blowjob but i said ‘no, don’t. let’s just have sex’ then she went down anyway and when she pulled my skin back, she looked disgusted and told me i had to wash it. so i actually had to walk all the way to the bathroom to clean my dick. then i had to walk all the way back to the room to have sex...
drjrl replied to your post: drjrl replied to your post: pretty sure my dog…
no i didn’t but i can’t stop laughing
maybe it’s just a male thing because i am almost 90% sure that everyone did this.
drjrl replied to your post: pretty sure my dog just squirted some type of…
piss?
i don’t think so. umm, i don’t know how to describe the smell. when you were a kid and your mom got up from the couch, did you ever bend down and smell the area where her vagina/butt was resting? because it smells just like that.
pretty sure my dog just squirted some type of disgusting smelling liquid from her vagina onto my lap
theoreticaltheoretical replied to your post: my dad is admiring the bookshelf. he’s tapping it…
your dad gives me anxieties
sonja knows how crazy he is. she knows.
he’s yelling at everybody now and he told me that the bookshelf would be nice to put our body parts in.
yaklt replied to your post: i just noticed that every single piece of…
i love trash
when i was younger, i would always go through the trash/dumpsters every garbage day looking for cool stuff with my sister and cousin. we called it ‘treasure hunting’ and one time we found three boxes of porn with dick pumps and dildos inside.
my dad is admiring the bookshelf. he’s tapping it and he told everyone to shut up so he can listen to its soul.
i just noticed that every single piece of furniture i own was taken from the trash. every single piece. like this thing my computer is on. this coffee table next to me that i put my cups on. this table right next to me that is holding the lamp, stereo, and other things taken from the trash. the thing the tv is resting on. the painting on the wall. the other coffee table in the corner of the room...
2 tags
i will produce a meaningful moment in you life and then purposely not communicate with you for a long time (maybe forever) so you will feel hurt
by Sam Pink
your breath smells like gumballs; that makes me horny.
i will pull your skin over a streetlight and inspect it for flaws.
don’t look at me. i feel weird.
i donated my organs provided that my large intestine (undamaged) would be...
